binge and...

Howdy. I've decided to get a Facebook account. Yowza.

And I'm using twitter now.

And Flickr and Blogger and Last.fm and probably some other social stuff I don't even know about.

And as a change of pace, I'm planning on putting together something of a cohesive identity online, where I use my name and avoid talking about things that I should probably avoid talking about. Maybe.

This blog, whose days have been numbered since forever, will probably stay the way it is. A disused junk bin for ideas I just can't develop all the way. The new spot will be nicer. and better written. promise.

The plan for now is to pull all that crap together. Blow the cobwebs of the blogging center of my brain and get to it. (if "it" is writing semi-seriously in order to polish my style)

For now, good night.

Resume Breathing.

I've been out of sorts for a while and in the last couple of days I've had a few epiphanies about why.

It's not the right time to bore you with them, but I'm working my way back to my old, less unlikable self. Slowly.

Nate

goin home yall.

Yeah, we made it
Just by the skin of our teeth Perfection is over, the Rave is over
Sheffield America is over, The Fear is over, Guilt is over, please leave the building quietly
Bergerac California is over, the hangover is over, Men are over, Women are over
Cholsesterol is over, Tapers are over, Irony is over
Bye bye bye bye



home

One hell of a sentence.

自分は、この人間の世の中において、一生その意識に苦しめられながらも、しかし、それは自分の糟糠のつまのごとき好伴侶で、そいつと二人きりで侘びしく遊びたわむれているというのも、自分のいきている姿勢の一つだったかもしれないし、また、俗に、脛に傷持つ身、という言葉もあるようですが、その傷は、自分の赤ん坊の時から、自然に片方に脛にあらわれて、長ずるに及んで治療するどころか、いよいよ深くなるばかりで、骨にまで達し、夜々の痛苦は千変万化の地獄とはいいながら、しかし、（これは、たいへん奇妙な言い方ですけど）その傷は、しだいに自分の血肉よりも親しくなり、その傷の痛みは、すなわち傷のいきている感情、または愛情の囁きのようにさえ思われる、そんな男にとって、れいの地下運動のグルウプの雰囲気が、へんに安心で、居心地がよく、つまりその運動の本来の目的よりも、その運動の肌が、自分に合った感じなのでした。

I like Dazai Osamu. And one remarkable thing about this sentence, he avoids both ambiguity and repetition. In Japanese, that's a feat. One I finish this book, I'd like to see what Donald Keene made from it.

starting today.

Last year(!), 2008, I had this big ambitious list of stuff I wanted to do... but I don't feel like I got at it until at least mid year. In the end I only accomplished about 35% of my stated goals. This time, I'm starting today. Jan 2.
1. one hundred pushups
I totally expect that the 100 pushups thing will be a breeze and that I will be done by the end of february... the only reason I'm gonna let that deadline slip is sickness.
2. Kanji Kentei
I just registered to take lvl. 4 (it counts up to 1) of the Kanji Kentei (Japanese Character test) in late february. I expect that this is already within my abilities, really. Still, it seems worth solidifying that to set the stage for lvl 3. I plan on scheduling lvl 3 as soon as I get my results from lvl 4 (10 days after the test).


ALSO.... I may not close down this blog just yet. I have this half-formed idea about "being good" that I feel like chasing down. I think I'm going to keep this blog going to keep working on a few things including this idea. I'll keep my clean laundry here.

The dirty laundry will be in that other place.

dear 2008, get fucked.

Wow. That year warn't no good. "2008: Plague Year"

No point in laying out all the bad stuff that went down. Instead, lets just call it a potent dose of reality that put me a little closer to "my place".

I had a bunch of goals, as listed in this here post. This year I came really close on the fitness ones (and blew the pull-ups away); barely even thought about the study goals; read about 1/3 of the books (got a couple days left to add to the tally there); and the other four were a failure too.

So with a little further ado, my last resolution list! Like I said in the last post, I'm closing up shop here. From here on, I'll probably make occasional photo posts from my phone or somethin... but don't expect any more of my sloppily written blather. I'm putting that somewhere else, somewhere anonymous. Needless to say, I'm not gonna point the way.

/ado.

I'll fill these in as a think them out, but here's the broad outline for the year's goal.

Fitness:
100 pushups in one go (doing about 45 right now).
50 pull ups
10 pull ups with 40kg burden
15k in 1 hr (Ive never run more than 10k).
110 or 120kg bench press x 1o (I was doing 90kg x 5 two weeks ago).

Japanese:
Kanji Kentei 3kyuu (gotta make a realistic goal here, or never succeed).
Something else concrete.

More alcohol:
learn to drink wine
drink some scotch... learn to drink it?

Housekeeping:
something concrete

Grooming:
one haircut every month
Something else concrete

Savings:
A set number for the year... but I'm not sharing that with yall.

Re-stop biting my nails.

Books, English:
Henry James (something)
Saul Bellow (something)
King James Bible
Ulysees
I, Claudius
Catch 22
rabbit, run
thomas mann (death in venice + something else)
faulkner (something)
100 years of solitude

Books, Japanese:
More Dazai (I like him quite a bit)
koizora
The last 2 akutagawa winners
kokoro
a modernized tale of Genji
some women's manga (what the fudge are they thinking?)
more to follow


I'll fill in the concrete parts as I think them up

Turn out the lights, set yourself on fire, say goodnight.

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.







Saa, 'bout time we packed it in, don't ya reckon? Lately, I have felt a bit like blogging, but I done wrecked this one up. Next blog, I'ma try to put a bit more effort and a bit more "me" into my writing... and a bit more stuff I don't necessarily want my acquaintances to know about.

I believe I'll make one last entry on this ol' feller, before sending him to a big farm upstate.

One last "resolutions/ resolve" post.

Can't sleep

Testing out iPhone features instead.