Yesterday, I went to my regular(ish) cafe, just like any other day, and "POW!", there was a white guy there. Naturally, I became agitated and uncomfortable. The existence of other foreigners, most especially white guys, is highly problematic for the honky about town in Japan (me). I once had a case of hives that the doctor traced back to my having shaken hands with a guy from Philadelphia named "paul".
I just couldn't get comfortable in my seat while I read my book and waited for my ginger ale to come. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake from my head that this guy, over at the other table was being white right there in the cafe. I decided to take this bull by the horns, and say hi.
This unorthodox approach beared limited fruit.
Being in Japan too long means that I've forgotten how to talk to a small subset of the population: those who aren't endlessly fascinated by my being a foreigner. So the fellow in the cafe got an earful of how much I dislike Jesus and America. Poor guy.
Don't say hello.
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5 comments:
You know Nate, you need to get out more. And by out, I don't mean out of Japan... nor do I mean out to a cafe with your the latest in continental social theory.
You need camaraderie. You need to リラックス.
I enjoy your blog, which I found via Marxy's, as well as your J-blog, which I'm sad to see you letting drift. (Still, having gotten only as far as signing up for one myself without writing word one in it, who am I to talk.)
I want to tell you that, based on what I've read, you seem like a smart guy. Smarter than most. But _stop agonizing about it_.
You may sometimes feel that other foreigners (or rather, let's narrow the field to white English-speaking foreigners) in Aomori are a bunch of ciphers, and while in many cases I'm sure they are, there's an alarming tendency (of which I am also guilty) for us (white gaijin types) to judge each other on only the most superficial of criteria without making the sacrifices and taking the risks that it takes to build a friendship. If, furthermore, you've got passable Japanese, such judgements often come a little more harshly, and damningly when they can't. This, naturally, leads us to be suspicious of each other and without any kind of shared experience (workplace/social network) we tend to write each other off, or even sabotage ourselves. Throw in some sturm und drang and ...
In my opinion, it's perfectly natural to strike up a conversation with another gaijin over here. It's all 内・外. Let's assume you were at a bar or cafe in the U.S., and feeling chatty. What criteria would have to be met for you to start talking to someone? (Let's also assume you are a socially functional human being.)
Well? It's no different here. You and the other white guy have something in common. It's perfectly to start talking to a complete stranger at a cafe, wherever. The fact that you might have let off a bit of steam points in another direction.
If you'll allow me to trans... something (lecture myself by lecturing you, for which I cannot remember the word) I think you're agonizing about speaking better Japanese than anybody you know (who isn't Japanese) and still feeling like you know shit. And feeling like a gaijin.
Which you are. Damn it. It doesn't make you the shit, but it doesn't mean you are shit either.
You're awesome. Stop doubting it. Accept it and move on. Get the monbushou, and if anyone tells you you can't get what you want, fuck'em. You're a young man. You'll take what's yours.
Start by having a drink with someone you can talk to in English that you can't piss off without a lot of effort.
PS - lay off the Big Daikon. That stuff will kill you.
PPS - I'm definitely trans...whatevering.
when someone says something too "right on the mark" it's a little creepy.
and a lot encouraging.
thanks. today seems to have been an avalanche of good things, and coming home (still a little bit drunk) to this is icing on the icing on the icing on the cake.
If you are indeed trans...somethinging, take some time and get out more, huh?
Projecting... the word is "projecting".
Thanks. Considering I spent yesterday in my pajamas without leaving the apartment, that's probably a good idea.
ahahaha. How true. The only white guy I talk to here is you.
Let's go out this weekend! Maybe we'll find another.
white guy update! said "poor guy" and I are actually going to meet up tomorrow night and talk shit over beer and kushiyaki.
(that he speaks no japanese and is gay makes him the perfect unthreatening buddy.)
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