Lately, every night, just before bed I remember that I did nothing about the monbushou scholarship today either. Everyday, that feeling is a little worse. But the application isn't due until the middle of the summer. Granted, I've got a lot of work to do between now and then but this worry is out of proportion to the problem.
Then it hit me.
In 1996, and 1997 I made a damned big mistake twice. Two times I let too much time pass to make a proper application to college. Consequently for two years, I was out of school, and getting dumber and lazier by the minute. Where I ultimately wound up was also the direct result of postponing and postponing.
Submitting rushed, sub-par applications to my real school of choice, Reed, got me admission (twice!), but didn't get me enough money to actually attend. (family equaled very broke) Not taking control of my life at that point, and not accomplishing what I know I could have is my single biggest regret.
Having that happen again is just an unbearable thought.
Today, I wrote to the SF consulate.
(ps, even seeing the reed website just now gets me queasy with regret)
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