aaaahhhhh fuck.

I'm an alternate too.

I think I'll type a little more than that actually, there's a lot on my mind now.

So, yeah. There's no telling what that means, being an alternate. I've heard two other people's results and they are both alternates as well. Seems fishy to me... especially since one of them interviewed in the same location I did.

Upon closer inspection, the phrasing of the letter: "...we will reccommend you to mext as an alternate. should on of the selected recipients be unable to accept..."

Which means it's all in the hands of the Japanese gov't now? and that the consulate was able to reccommend some people wholeheartedly, but could not do the same for me and the other fella who interviewed with? The most troubling vagueness is that it's not exactly clear who would have to cancel to get me to go... the people from my consulate, or anyone in the whole wide world.

Other ideas:
is there such a thing as an outright no?
I've heard that we are accorded "points" based on our test and performance in the interview... is that all that will be considered from here out?
Could it be that we got alternated because our proposed schools were not in line with our scores?

I searched pretty hard for anyone else blogging about the monbushou money, but didn't find a single thing that seemed to be from this season other than talk about going to the interviews, etc. Some guy in china got accepted, I think. but the rest is mum.

also, a small silver lining. Now that this is fully out of my hands, and in proper limbo, I neednt feel so pressed by it. and worry about how to apply to schools and all that is now a much much lower priority. so I can get a bit more moving and job applying done in peace.