137

137 days until the big test.

I've probably said it about a dozen times already, but as time goes on, it's clear that I've staked the entire value of this year on whether or not I pass 1kyuu. In the last week or so though, I've also realized that I have staked more than a single, mostly-elapsed year on the test.

I'm not really sure what's next if the test is a wash. Maybe I can still put in applications to graduate schools based on some other tangible mark of my ability. If not, I may have to retreat to the states for a little work. Not really a terrible prospect, I hope.
The more alarming idea is what happens if I pass. I haven't really carefully investigated what to do from there. I want to be a long(ish) term resident, but the visa arrangements for what I need may be completely impossible. Holders of student visas can't work, and working visas are only full time, and have all kinds of rules and sub-sub-rules.

For the first time I see where debito.org is coming from. When you change your perspective on a country, and start to look at it as home, things change. My struggles aren't with slimy food and communication now, they're with visas and with finding work... you know, grown up problems.

137 days.